Listening To Your Body

It has been four days since I went for a run – outside or on the treadmill. I had a rough night at work on Thursday night and when I got off from work – I pounded out one hell of a work out at the gym. By the end of my workout, I was dripping sweat and felt great. I wanted to get the most out of my work out – I had a lot of energy and emotion to burn off. Plus, I was looking toward a weekend at Disney with my mother-in-law. I knew the chances of me getting a work out were slim. I turned out to be right. We spent all of Saturday walking around Epcot. By the end of the day, my feet were sore and my calves felt super tight. I spent roughly two hours waiting in line to get my picture taken with Anna and Elsa (it was their last day in Norway at Epcot) and was definitely feeling it in my feet (and in the bright red sun burns across my arms – ouch).

I took a hot bath to soothe my aches (which aggravated the sunburn – go figure) and decided to give myself a couple of extra rest days. I wanted to go for a run before work yesterday but decided to continue my string of “rest”. I was still tired and did not want to push it.

It is important to listen to your body. There are times to push yourself but there are also times that your body is screaming at you to take a break. Mine was screaming at me Saturday night into Monday afternoon. Taking it easy was a great idea. I have a little under two hours left in my work shift and I am ready to go for my run. I feel the itch in my legs and I’m ready to crank out some miles.

Resting is an important part of training – and being able to listen to your body is crucial to your physical and mental health. Listen to your body. Don’t over do it – hurting yourself will only set you back in your training. Plus, who wants to be in pain?

Love The Body You’ve Got

Today was a gorgeous day to run. The temperature was rather low (in the 60s) and the sun was up. The sky was a deep beautiful blue and completely clear of clouds. I have been wanting a GPS-enabled running watch that allows me to better track my running. My iPhone does a decent job tracking distance, pace, time, etc but it has limitations (especially since the GPS is working off of cellular network). My awesome hubbie has a Garmin Forerunner he doesn’t use – so he gave it to me until I decide to purchase my own.

Today’s run was the first time I used it and I loved it! Part of my distance run training features intervals. Right now I’m working off of a varied 1:1 and 2:1 (minutes running to minutes walking) ratio to help build endurance and aerobic capacity. When I finish up C25K and start the Disney Half Marathon program, I’ll drop down to a 30 sec:30 sec ratio and move up from there. Having the watch made it much easier to run using intervals. I didn’t feel like I was pulling my shoulder out of its socket to look at my times!

I ran around the gorgeous lake and enjoyed soaking in the sun. Running during the day is unusal for me. It threw me off a little bit but felt great regardless.

The more I run, the better I feel about my body. I feel less self-conscious about my flaws. I work hard at maintaining my fitness level. I may not have the best running pace – but at least I’m out there. I might not be the skinniest girl in the world – but I still feel fit and in shape. I used to beat myself up about how my body looked. I would be the first to list a (very long) list of things wrong with me. It doesn’t do a lot for your self esteem when you spend so much time beating yourself up. Now that I’m running regularly, I feel better about myself and don’t pick on myself as much. I don’t work out anymore because I’m afraid of getting fat. I work out because I love my body enough to take care of it. I want to be healthy and running gives me one epic sense of accomplishment. For those of you who struggle with body image issues, check out this post with some pretty uplifting messages to boost your self-esteem!

Featured photo also pulled from Sparkpeople’s great post!

 

 

Fear

Sometimes it is so easy for a simple action to catapult me back into the fears of my past.

Why I Started Running

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.

-Henry David Thoreau

I grew up hating physical activity. When I was in grade school, my doctors diagnosed me with “exercise induced asthma” and prescribed an inhaler to me. I used it as a crutch. I would run a few feet and then tell my physical education teacher that I needed to go to the nurse’s office to use my inhaler. A little bit of activity would send me into a fit of huffing and puffing. I’ll be the first to admit that I babied myself. My huffing and puffing was not an indication of an asthmatic attack – it was an indication of a lack of physical fitness.

While in college I tried to get into running. I wanted to stay fit and was worried (as many college aged females are) about my weight. I walked everywhere but I wanted something more challenging to help increase my overall fitness level. I never could stay on it. I would run every other day consistently for a couple of weeks and then something would come up. A test. A procrastinated paper. I went out drinking instead. Consistency would fall into sporadic bouts of going to the track.

It was not until last summer that I truly became serious about running. I was inspired by two of my friends. And to be honest, I wanted to look hot in my wedding dress (by the way – mission accomplished). I graduated college April 2012 and was no longer walking everywhere. Gainful employment offered me the opportunity to purchase a car. I was not packing on the pounds on any significant level but I knew that in a sedentary work environment, I needed to find some type of physical activity to stay in shape. Enter my best friend. She had recently started talking about the “Couch to 5K” program and how much she liked it. She told me that the program was specifically formulated with beginning runners in mind. I decided to take a leaf from her book and try it out.

In June 2013, I did my first C25K workout: 1.15 miles in 30 minutes. I felt pretty accomplished.

At this point, I had been on prescribed antidepressants for approximately six months. They did their job – barely. I was level headed but for the most part, I didn’t really feel anything significant other than calm. A lot of things were still hard for me and I continued to beat myself up. I like to call “it” the devil on my shoulder (think Dexter’s “Dark Passenger” minus the murderous urges). I always felt like there was constantly someone in my ear telling me I was a failure, worthless, etc.

Insert motivator and great role model here. One of my coworkers is incredibly inspirational. He suffers from depression and has achieved so much. His physical “therapy” is riding his bike. He has ridden for 24 hours straight and he has ridden across the state. He’s ridden his bike cross country to bring awareness to mental illness! He inspired me. If his bike could help him overcome his depression, maybe my feet could help mine.

This morning I did 3.15 miles in 38:26. I was huffing and puffing. My hair flew all around in a crazy frizzy mess. My legs were sore and I was covered in sweat (you’re welcome for the mental image). But this morning I ran a 5k and felt good about myself. I ran a 5k and that devil was silenced. Because someone who can run a 5k is not a failure. She is not worthless.  She is strong, confident and capable.

Feature Photo Credit: “Patients Like Me Blog” 

 

Live. Love. Run.

Yesterday I loaded up my car with my beach gear and drove two hours to go to my happy place. I have been my own worst enemy lately and needed to go somewhere to reset and recharge. St. George Island State Park is where I go when I need to do a “hard reset” on my brain. Usually when I go to the beach, I bring a book, some music and my bathing suit. I lay out under the sun and soak up the much needed Vitamin D. I’ll play out in the waves and smell the salty air. I like curling up in my beach chair with a good book. St George is usually pretty peaceful and quiet. If I’m lucky, I’ll find a little spot and be able to enjoy the peace alone. Other people appear like little specks in the distance they are so far away.

Yeserday was a little different. I decided to add St George to my slowly growing list of places to go for a peaceful run. If you drive all the way to the end of the island, you’ll find a gravel trail that winds throughout. It was a great little trail to run on. It was also a great little trail to find out how much I don’t like running on gravel (my knees burned during that entire stretch!). About a mile and a half into my run, I found an off shoot and veered off toward the beach. I took a short breather and admired the beauty around me.

I stopped to breathe in the salty air. I was huffing and puffing a bit, but I felt good. Running reminds me of my worth. It reminds me of my strength and power. It shouts to me that I can do anything. I’m worthy. I’m strong. I’m good. When I’m running, I let go of the negativity and embrace my inner beauty. Every footfall crushes down the angry voices and instead fills me with a sense of accomplishment. Standing on the beach facing the gulf, I was able to let go of the hurt. I was able to fill my heart with good feelings and was able to release the negativity that has so recently been floating around in my mind. I continued down the beach and started to run again. My knees thanked me for this. Running on sand is no easy task – but it certainly cushioned the impact more than the gravel!

Thirty-nine minutes and 3.01 miles later (let’s not even talk about timing – I was there to have fun!) I ended my run. I did some light yoga on the beach to stretch out my tired muscles. I found a nice secluded spot and settled down to relax with a good book and some water. By the end of my trip, I was back to being “me”.

Even When It Hurts

Today started off bad.

Today, I didn’t want to run. I didn’t sleep well. It was too hard to get out of bed. I was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. But I rolled over and there he was. A thirty pound ball of black and white fur. He looked at me with his liquid brown eyes and wagged his tail. He was waiting to go. It hurt to get out of bed but I did. I got dressed and loaded him into the car.

Our entire run (a little over a mile and a quarter in a little over twenty minutes) was at first a “struggle”. My body wanted to sprint. I wanted to tear through the woods to exhaust my mind against the “crazy” thoughts but I had to pace myself. Gabriel is less than a year old and has awhile to go before he can run at my pace.

I found that a lot of my run consisted of “you can do this, baby” and “come on Gabriel, just a little further and we’ll walk for a few minutes”. It dawned on me that I was encouraging him in much the same way I encourage myself when I run alone. Just a few more feet. Run until this song is over. Run until you pass that sign. My encouragement brought him into step with me, his ears and tail up.

My day to day life is like that, too. Just get through today and tomorrow will be better. Be strong. You only need to get through the next few hours and then you can let it go. Even when it hurts I tell myself it will be okay.

Things will always be okay if I can just get through the next few steps.

Today started off bad.

But today ended on a good note because I can do this.

Running to Live

“We all have dreams, in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline and effort.”

– Jesse Owens
Olympic gold-medalist runner

 

If you had asked me ten years ago if I saw myself “competing” (I use the word loosely. I don’t see my amateur running as competitive toward anyone but myself) in races, I would have laughed in your face. I used to hate running more than a few feet on the track during gym class. I was one of those girls that came up with as many excuses as possible to get out of physical education.

At twenty-four years old, I have a very different mindset. Whereas at fourteen I viewed running as tortuous and energy consuming, I look at running now as a release. Each time my foot pushes against the ground to propel me forward, I release my emotions and let go. It does not matter how quickly I am crossing the ground – all that matters in that moment is the feeling of my arms pumping at my side and my legs moving in a steady pace.

I don’t run to lose weight. I don’t run to be the best. I don’t run in “races” to win. I run to live. I run to feel the wind in my face and the ground beneath my feet. I run to release the pain, the anger and the uncertainty. I run to regain control over my tumultuous emotions. I run as a form of therapy. A little over a year ago, I started taking antidepressants to control my mood disorder and depression. The pills helped – but I don’t feel “normal” or “sane” unless I can work through my “issues” (note the loose use of the word, here) through a run.

This year (and the years to follow!) I have goals. I want to progress from my 5K to a 10K. I want to train for a half marathon. By February of next year, I want to be running throughout Magic Kingdom and Epcot to claim my place among the finishers of the “Disney Princess Half Marathon”.

I’m blogging for accountability. I’m blogging to keep myself on track throughout the year so that I meet my goals.

But ultimately, I am blogging to tell my story.

Suffering from a mental illness does not mean that my dreams cannot become a reality. I will overcome through determination, dedication, self-discipline and effort.